Fing Winter Wonderland
by mystic7194
Summary: Bobby wakes up to find his house covered in Christmas decorations. He tries to find out who did it and ends up making out with a demon. Bobby/Crowley Slash


AN: It's Christmas, the perfect time for fanfic. Enjoy!

Bobby isn't really a Christmas person. Despite what some people think, the supernatural doesn't take any time off for the holidays. Hell, if anything supernatural activity increases in December. It's almost as if the things that go bump in the night don't want to miss out on the festivities. Right around Thanksgiving his phone starts ringing off the hook with idjet hunters wanting help.

'Well if burning the bones didn't stop her look for any other remains… yes, a lock of hair counts.'

'No, being bitten by a bat won't turn you into a vampire. But, you should probably get a rabies shot just to be on the safe side.'

'Werewolves only come out when the moon is _completely_ full. Mostly full doesn't count.'

It doesn't end until a few days after New Year's, making the month of December one long headache and leaving him with a general dislike of the entire season.

So, when Bobby wakes up one December morning to find his house looking like the spirit of Christmas threw up all over it, he is not happy with the new décor.

Every available surface is covered with fake snow and artificial greenery. In his living room there's a huge freshly-cut evergreen tree. It is covered in multi-colored lights, strings of garland, and shiny spherical ornaments until its needles are barely visible. It even has an angel sitting on the top, although it doesn't look like anyone he's met.

The outside of the house is just as bad as the inside. The roof is covered with so many strands of lights that it's beginning to look more like a landing strip than a home. There's a giant inflatable Santa taking up residence on his porch. Half-a-dozen light up reindeer cover the lawn.

As soon as Bobby gets over the shock, he makes a phone call.

"What the heck did you do to my house?" Bobby hisses when person on the other end finally picks up. .

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, Bobby," Rufus responds. "I'm in west Texas taking out a Windigo. I haven't had time to mess with your house. Now if you don't mind I have a slimy bastard to deep fry." Bobby scowled as Rufus hung up. He goes through his entire phone book, calling anyone who might be brave enough (or stupid enough depending on your point of view) to make his house into a damn winter wonderland. No luck.

Bobby spends most of the afternoon taking down the showy decorations. He throws everything into large, industrial strength garbage bags. Then, once his house has been returned to normal, he takes the bags out back and tosses them into the dumpsters. He returns to the house feeling accomplished.

But, when Bobby enters the house, he finds that are all the decorations have returned to exactly where they had been. He frowns at them. They twinkle and glisten back at him tauntingly. With one final glare at the offending ornaments, Bobby retreats into the kitchen. He really needs a beer.

Bobby bends over to retrieve a bottle from the fridge.

"What a pleasant view," he hears a familiar voice coming from behind him.

"What do you want, Crowley?" Bobby sighs. This is the last thing he needs right now.

"I came to see if you liked the decorations," Crowley replies with his usual smugness.

"That was YOU?" Bobby growls. "What do you get out of turning my house into a tacky Winter Wonderland?"

"It's really quite simple, mate," the demon states.

"Do you wanna share what the heck you're talking about with the class?" Bobby sneers when Crowley offers no further explanation.

"Mistletoe," Crowley says simply, pointing upward. Bobby looks up. Realization dawns upon him seconds before Crowley presses their lips together. Bobby wants to protest. His hands grip the edge of the Lord of Hell's suit jacket intent on pushing Crowley away, but instead he finds himself pulling the demon closer.

Don't judge. The King of the Crossroad is a very good kisser and sometimes a man has needs.

The kiss is far from gentle. It's all hot, lust and bruising force. It's as much a fight for dominance as it is a kiss, as much tongue and teeth as lips. Bobby forgets about the decorations as his tongue wars with Crowley's. The world completely melts away and all he feels is the electricity of the demon's touch.

Eventually it's Crowley that pulls away. Bobby hadn't even noticed his lungs beginning to ache from lack of oxygen.

"I'd love to finish what we started," Crowley drawls. "But right now I think it's time daddy explained the birds and the bees to the little kiddies." He disappears with a chuckle.

Bobby turns to find Sam, Dean, and Castiel standing in the entrance to the kitchen like three deer caught in the headlights. Sam's mouth is opened in a little 'o' of surprise and Dean's eyes are wide like saucers. Castiel's head in titled sideways in his customary look of confusion.

"Yeah, um. Mistletoe, you know how it is," Bobby stammered before making a hasty retreat to his bedroom.

AN: I hope you liked that. Please leave a review. Merry Christmas (or whichever holiday you celebrate).


End file.
